Headlights have internal switches that tell the motor when to stop, you might be able to rebuild the headlight motor and get it working, but if that fails you'll need a new headlights motor
Oil weight depends on a few things (temp. mainly) and what brand oil is the best is hard to really say. Synthetic would be your best bet though. Also, I wouldn't overfill a car's oil at all, since it causes excess windage in the crankcase and foaming of the oil, but DO check your oil often as high mileage turbos tend to consume oil a bit.
Octane: toyota recommends high octane, though they say you can get away with mid grade, I wouldn't...
TEMS: Toyota Electronic Modulated Suspension, basicly it's an active system that adjusts the firmness of the suspension.
Check engine light: check your codes and see what comes up, it might be something dumb...
Foglights will turn off when your high beams are on, and they won't turn on unless you have the headlights on (unless something was changed in your wiring, which is common it seems)
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