12 in lbs is equal to 1 ft lb (seems obvious but many people miss it). Just a hand tightened screw will meet this level without exceeding it by much; I suspect this is a strong reason for Toyota's decision to employ Philips screws on many of their vehicles for this purpose. If you're set on switching to bolts and don't have a suitable torque wrench for the job then I recommend you tighten them by hand using a long extension as you would a screw driver.
If you can find some resiliant rubber washers then sure, your own combination will work fine. If you're using something other than rubber such as fiberglass washers you don't need to use metal washers if the bolt has a flanged head (kind of like a washer cast into it for greater contact area). Don't use a flanged head bolt with a rubber washer without something in between to prevent the washer from "winding up".
The best (albeit overkill) setup would be a constant tension setup. Like the OEM hose clamps it's a setup that allows for the expansion, contraction and movement of the materials it binds. This would use a longer bolt and two washers sandwiching a spring. You'd want a spring which is compressed around 50% to 75% when the fastener is torqued to the desired level.
In all cases lubricating the parts prior to torquing for accuracy isn't a bad idea. I'd just use graphite... maybe moly on a constant tension setup.
EDIT: I'm not sure if there are any economic low range torque wrenches on the market. Mine is Snap-On and cost a crap load more than would be worth it to most people. As the wrench's length is a function of the torque it wouldn't be difficult to make an attachment to function as a divider..... then again, maybe you should just see if someone will rent you one.
I see in your sig that you say you have ARP headbolts at 90ft lbs.... I hope that's a typo and you mean headSTUDS.... you don't want to exceed 75ft lbs on ARP or OEM headBOLTS (unless you lubed them with something less lubricating than the molybdenum grease they originally ship with).