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Funny blonde joke...
Blonde Riding a Horse
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Todd, the Wall-Mart Manager, runs out to turn the horse off. |
lol hahahahahahahaha
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dumb blondes
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ROFL omg thats funny as hell!!:rofl: at first i didnt think it would be funny then at the end was just awsome.
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why are blondes' ankles always warm?
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idk why???
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cuz they always manage to keep thier skirts at thier ankles
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1 Attachment(s)
lol
read this... |
i dont get it?? im slow today forgive me
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So the nurse comes in and says to the fellow lying on the table,
"Your insurance does NOT cover enemas, so I'm gonna have to slap the shit out of you" !!! |
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whats there NOT to get ahmad??? |
lmao thats a funny one about the enemas.
So there was this guy and his wife was in a bad car wreck. He was talking to the doctor and the doc said im sorry there is nothing more that we can do for her. The man said there has to be something pleading to the doctor. The doctor said well there is one thing but you would have to spend a lot of money on machines and stay with her 24/7. The man said I will do it, as he starts to cry. The doctor said you will also have to spend mor emoney to hire a care giver to monitor her. He said I cant afford all this what am I going to do. He started freaking out crying and started to call someone and the doctor said wait! The man said what.... and the doctor said im just fuckin with you shes dead. |
thats phuked up...
heres an old navy joke This fella is on deployment and goes to the ships clinic after a long night of partying. "Doc" Ive got this bad itch and my cock is turnin all sorts of weird colors. The doc had him take samples and about an hour later the doc comes out and says well I got good news and bad news. Bad news is that I found out what it is. Good news is that we dont have to cut it off.............it will fall off in 3-5 days. This fella comes back from deployment and his wife meets him at the peir, and they leave in their car for the trip home when out of the blue his wife starts crying. the husband looks over and says whats wrong. She says "its over", I dont want to be with you, im sleeping with the neighbor. He starts speeding up. She says I want it all, the money, the house, the dog, everything. By this time he is speeding preaty fast. She asks if he is ok, he states yes. "Is there anything you want?" He says no I got everything I need. She asks whats that? just then he veres towards the median wall, and says "I got the airbag and your seatbelt is broke". |
Lmao. Thats some funny shit.
Why don't Women wear watches? Cause there is a clock on the god damn stove!!! |
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have you ever heard the saying "blondes have more fun"? well it ties into the joke because they say "but brunettes remember it the next day" meaning blondes are too dumb to remember what they did last night. |
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omg that is good |
what do you tell a girl with two black eyes?
nothing, shes already been told twice |
lol my friend just told me that.
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read this one
alright alright i got a good one
there's three high school girls a mexican girl, an irish girl, and an american blonde girl it was about a month b4 thier high school graduation and so far they have been eating the same thing for lunch for the whole school year so one day they got together, and showed each other what they have for lunch the mexican girl, had a burrito, the same meal that she's been have the whole year, the irish girl does the same thing and finds a corned beef sandwich in her lunch bag, the blonde girl opens her lunch and finds a grilled cheese sandwich. so the mexican girl said to the other, if my mother packs the same shit for me again tommorow im gonna kill myself, the irish girl then stood up , and yelled the same thing, the blonde girl followed shortly yelling , i will kill myself too so the next day, the mexican girl opens her lunch, and finds a burrito she quickly ran to the roof and jumped to her death the irish girl found another corned beef sandwich and jumped to her death too the blonde girl found the same sandwich and jumped to her death too at the wake where the parents decided to do it at the same place and time the mexican girl's mom and the irish girl's mom, almost have thier eyes falling out because they were crying so hard the mexican mom yells, i should never gave her another burrito its my fault the irish mom yells, it my fault she's dead i should never gave her another cornedbeef sandwich the blonde girl's mom walks into the room and the two crying mothers quickly ask her, what did u giv ur daughter for launch yesterday she replies, "i dont know", she packed her own lunch herself |
HAHAAHAHAHHA ROFL OMG thats funny :rofl:
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lol saw that coming
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Dr.of Love
A Dr. had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty the next day. No matter how hard he tried to forget about it, he felt a lot of shame.
A little voice in his head said, "don't worry about it, your not the first Dr. to have sex with a patient". But then another little voice said,"you're a sick bastard, and a terrible veterinarian. |
lol didnt see that one coming lol
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lol thats awsome
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oh nooo...
lol |
Grooming
How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair ???????
SPIT. |
ewww thats not a blonde joke...
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its funny, it gave a chuckle but jus nasty |
By the way......
they were blonde !
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what do fake blondes and black people
have in common? they both have black roots |
q: how does every ethnic joke start?
a: with a look over the shoulder q: how do you know the tooth brush was invented in west virginia? a: if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teeth brush q: what do you get with 32 rednecks in the room? a: a ful set of teeth blonde in pain... A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt. The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where." The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!" Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!" She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!" She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!" The doctor laughed and said, "Don't worry; it's not serious. You''ve just got a broken index finger." |
rofl:weak:
.........^ blonde |
Jap cars all the same
This 40 year old blonde divorced woman is in line at the grocery store. She is getting very HOT while watching the young muscular teenage boy bag her groceries.
He says, "Can I help you out to the car with these , mam"? "Oh yes", she says very hot & sexy. When they get thru the store door, she leans over and says in a very low, sexy voice, "I have an itchy pussy". He then says very naively, "Well, just point it out mam, cause all those Japanese cars look the same to me". |
i think im going blonde
i did not get that one |
:boring: :whateva: hahahahaha
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ya i think im over analyzing that one... guess he thinks a itchy pussy is an asian car???
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Just a "short" story
Every day, a male worker walks up very close to a blonde woman co-worker
standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in Human Resources, and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources Supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget." |
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